My motivation to succeed!

by Trayana Jackson
(Atlanta, GA, United States)

College Admission Essay Example - Faced with many obstacles at an early age, I didn’t anticipate making it to this point in my life. I am currently seventeen years old and a senior at Maynard Jackson High school in Atlanta Georgia. Growing up, I didn’t have many positive role models that I would want to pattern my life after. My mother was forced to drop out of high school when she discovered she was pregnant with my oldest sister. To date, my mother currently has four children of which I was born a twin. A product of her environment, my older sister also traveled a similar path that my mother did. Observing the daily struggles that they both encountered as a result of their lack of education and poor choices, I sought a different path in life. By doing this, I set goals for myself, I made wise choices that would yield rewards instead of consequences, and lastly I surrounded myself with positive individuals that could provide me with the guidance needed to achieve my goals. I often found myself re-evaluating and assessing my goals in life in order to remain focused and to assure that my goals aligned with my dreams and aspirations in life.

Often times, I reflect on my life and the many accomplishments that I have achieved thus far. I credit my success to my fear of becoming a product of my environment and repeating the cycle that my mother and sister created. This has taught me that regardless of an individual’s circumstance, the choices one makes can reshape their opportunities for what lies ahead. As I look towards my future, I visualized a life filled with promising tomorrows. I am now focused on my goal to graduate from high that will end one chapter and open another that will grant me the opportunity to open a new chapter in life as I advance my education by attending a four year college or university. Additionally, I have made a
commitment to define myself and purpose in life through a deeper connection with God and becoming more spiritually in tune as I advance to the next chapter in life following high school graduation.

As I prepare for my next journey in life, I plan to make sure the steps that I take lead me down the path that will align with my dreams to one day start my own non-profit organization that will offer support to the homeless population that will provide services such as shelter, food, and resources that address the immediate needs of the homeless population. Additionally, I have plans to attend Tuskegee University where I plan to pursue a career path in biomedical engineering and obtain employment with General Electric.
Graduating from high school will make me the first of my mother’s children to graduate, along with my twin brother who is also scheduled to graduate in May 2012. Although, I recall several times of wanting to quit and give up as a result of so many socioeconomic challenges, the fear of repeating the cycle lead by my mother would not allow me to quit. Even further, my passion for helping others and benefiting from the help and support of others is what further defined my passion for wanting to give back to others.

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Thank you Trayana for sharing your college admission essay example. Please check out some of our scholarship links below.

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A Guiding Light

by Summer Rak
(Avondale, AZ, United States)

College Admission Essay Sample - This essay helped me get into the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) - The fall breeze swiped my face as I stood in front of the bleak building. Cautiously, I followed my cousin up the steps. Inside, the hustle and bustle was overwhelming. Kids, pushing and shoving, were going in every direction. Yelling, chatting, and laughing. As security guard was calling for IDs, I was surprised by the presence of metal detectors and let out a silent sigh of relief when I went through with ease. I had officially stepped inside the infamous inner-city Chicago high school known as Gage Park.

Despite its lack of aesthetic appeal and financial affluence, the school I attend is known for its prestige and strive for excellence. Nonetheless, here I was, Gage Park High School known for its riots and shootings. Initially, this was meant to be a kind of social experiment, to find out how education is experienced in a different part of the United States, and to see beyond myself and the bubble that the little town of Tolleson, Arizona had accustomed me to. However, as soon as I stepped past those metal detectors I wanted to clap my little red shoes and yell “There’s no place like home!”

My collectedness at that moment was merely an affectation for my true feelings of alarm and discomfort. The topics of conversation among the students seemed to be consumed by relationships, sex, and drugs. Within one brief conversation with me, most of my cousin’s friends were able to peel away the layers to find only a simple, naïve girl who clearly had little experience in the real world.

When the warning bell rung everyone lingered in the halls and continued with their conversations. The security guards had started from the back of the hall moving towards the front herding the students like cattle to get them to go into their designated pens, or classrooms as they called it, but at that point I could see no difference between the two.

In the classrooms, most of the teachers were especially brusque and gave little attention to my presence. One teacher’s face was even buried behind a newspaper the entire period; one could only hear his muffled voice dictating assignments. Others looked over assignments, but with only a cursory glance, some students wrote down their favorite rap lyrics and got full points for their notes on Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.

There were, however, students I encountered who had more dedication and drive than many at my own school. What I remember most is the desperate hope and pure passion those few students had to simply learn as much as they could in that broken system. They made no plans beyond high school because they had long since seen the light at the end of the tunnel. No beacon in the gloom that was Gage Park. There seemed to be little hope for the students who didn’t want to spend their whole life in a factory or behind a rolling pin. They were held back with little means to change their circumstances.

That day I realized how much I have taken the exceptional education handed to me for granted. I recalled why I put myself through the rigors of a college preparatory program. I remembered the reason why I strive for excellence and knowledge. It was on that day that I rediscovered my desire to serve underrepresented minorities because what was happening at that school was truly an injustice. Gage Park’s impact will always with me because, above all else, dreams shouldn’t fall victim to circumstance.

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Thank you Summer for sharing your college admission essay. Good luck at the University of Illinois.

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Significant Accomplishment Essay

by Brionna Louis
(Inglewood, CA United States)

Sample College Essay about Significant Accomplishment - Drugs, alcohol, fornication, pregnancy, and dropping out of high school. I have witnessed these items, actions, and results of certain behavior ruthlessly seize hold of the reigns that helped steer the lives of my companions down a path that led to a bright future. Once these various elements dictated where their lives would go, they were led down a dark and dismal trail. Albeit it is never a joyful sight to become cognizant of the fact that I have left my dearest companions behind in regards to continuing the journey down the correct path to a promising future, I can say that I am proud of myself for slamming the door in the face of peer pressure.

This is a significant accomplishment because the aforementioned list and a fusion of myriad unlisted items and activities is prevalent in today's society; it can be difficult for myself and young adults to avoid falling under the influence of their peers. However, it is important for me to maintain hold of my reins because I have seen the results of one losing his or her grip on them. For example, one of my former classmates has been removed from our secondary institution twice partially due to substance abuse on campus. After the initial removal, the principal decided to be lenient and allow him to return. Recently, he was dismissed a second time and asked not to return. It is a pity because he is in his senior year. His expulsion record may or may not interfere with the prospects of being accepted to college. I, on the other hand, am not willing to take such a risk.

I have dreamed of becoming a heart surgeon for the past few years. Frankly, I obstinately refuse to enable avoidable circumstances to selfishly postpone or blatantly deter me from feeling as if I have yet to wake from my slumber because my dreams have intertwined themselves with my reality.

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Thank you Brionna for sharing your significant accomplishment essay. Be sure to check out some of our Medical Scholarships. Best of luck to you.

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