Can the AI ChatGPT Essay Writer actually write better college essays? Check out these different versions of the same human-written essay, edited by ChatGPT.
We first tried ChatGPT to write an essay based upon prompts, and we weren't satisified with the results. See those ChatGPT college essays.
This time we took a human-written essay, and had ChatGPT edit it, to test its capabilities as a college essay writer.
Original Essay: Here is the original essay, written by one of our site visitors.
College Essay About the Influence of Music in My Life by Alessandra from Virginia
The flames burned with a scorching heat, bright and ghastly upon the look. Inside the burning barn wielded many great treasures. The owners of the barn were able to save only a few of their belongings, one being a precious instrument, a beautifully hand-crafted violin, made from the finest dark colored wood. This violin, which belonged to my great-great-great grandfather, has been passed down my family for generations.
Music plays an enormous role in my life. The piano, guitar, singing, and especially the violin make up a huge part of who I am. When I was in fifth grade, my elementary school held an assembly. As the group of mingling and curious children, walked through the halls, I spotted a woman carrying a large, beautifully crafted bass just a few feet ahead. I thought it was amusing how such a small woman handled such a large instrument, but I felt jealous that the woman was able to play that instrument. After being seated, a quartet of women began to pluck the tune for “Bingo”. Once the violinist began to bow out her part, I was warped and drawn to her melody. I was in love with the violin. Upon arriving home, I bothered and nagged for my mother to allow me to attend weekly orchestra classes at school.
One afternoon, my mother called me and announced that she had a surprise. Getting giddy and excited, I quickly perched myself on the couch and awaited for her news. My mother reached behind the couch and pulled out a worn-down case with a lock that was dangling off the side, barely attached. Excitement and curiosity flowed through me as I opened the case to reveal an old, slightly wore-down violin. Once I received that ancient violin, I knew my life would change forever.
From that day on, music has been a part of my life. Without music, I wouldn’t be who I am today. From playing the violin, I acquired an interest for other instruments such as the piano and guitar. I even began to sing. Having the chance to play such a cherished family instrument makes me feel so honored, especially since I am the first female in the family to continue the tradition of violin playing. This violin made me who I am today; a fun, loving person who enjoys music and expressing myself through the notes of my violin.
Now let's see how the essay evolves based upon prompts in AI ChatGPT.
User Prompt: edit this essay to make it better
ChatGPT Essay Writer Response:
The flames roared with scorching intensity, casting a bright and ghastly glow. Inside the burning barn lay a treasure trove of valuable possessions. The barn's owners could salvage only a few belongings, among them a precious instrument, a beautifully hand-crafted violin made from the finest, dark-colored wood. This violin had been passed down in my family for generations, originating from my great-great-great grandfather.
Music holds an irreplaceable place in my life. The piano, guitar, singing, and, above all, the violin, constitute a significant part of my identity. I vividly remember a transformative experience in fifth grade when my elementary school organized an assembly. While walking through the halls, I spotted a woman gracefully carrying a large, exquisitely crafted bass just a few feet ahead. I couldn't help but feel a mix of amusement and envy at how she handled such a substantial instrument with ease. The quartet of women began playing "Bingo," and when the violinist drew her bow, I found myself irresistibly drawn to the enchanting melody. From that moment on, my heart belonged to the violin, and I pestered my mother to allow me to attend weekly orchestra classes at school.
One fateful afternoon, my mother surprised me with some exciting news. She reached behind the couch and pulled out a worn-down case, barely holding together, with a lock dangling from the side. I felt a rush of excitement and curiosity as I opened the case to reveal an old, slightly worn-down violin. From the moment I cradled that ancient instrument in my hands, I knew that my life was about to change forever.
Since that day, music has become an inseparable part of my existence. It has shaped me into the person I am today. My passion for the violin led me to explore other instruments like the piano and guitar, and I even discovered my singing voice. Playing this cherished family heirloom fills me with a profound sense of honor, especially as the first female in my family to carry forward the tradition of violin playing. This violin has not only given me the gift of music but has also shaped my personality, making me a fun-loving individual who finds joy in expressing herself through the beautiful notes of the violin.
Now let's see how the essay evolves based upon a new prompt in AI ChatGPT.
User Prompt: make it lighter, more whimsical
ChatGPT Essay Writer Response:
In a barn ablaze, the flames danced with scorching intensity, creating a bright and ghastly spectacle. Amidst the inferno, a trove of hidden treasures lay. Unfortunately, the barn's owners could save only a handful of belongings, and among them was a precious find - a beautifully hand-crafted violin made from the finest, dark-colored wood. This extraordinary violin had been a cherished family heirloom, passed down through generations, and now it was about to embark on a new whimsical adventure.
Music had always held a magical sway over my life. The piano, guitar, singing - they were all delightful, but the violin was my true enchantress. It all began in the fifth grade during an extraordinary assembly at my elementary school. As I strolled through the hallways, my eyes widened at the sight of a petite woman gracefully carrying a massive, beautifully crafted bass, like a fairytale character carrying an enchanted artifact. I was tickled by the incongruity but couldn't help feeling a touch of envy for her musical prowess. The quartet of women on stage started plucking the strings for "Bingo," but it was when the violinist drew her bow that the real enchantment began. I was utterly captivated by the spellbinding melody, and my heart danced with joy. From that moment on, I knew my life was about to transform into a delightful symphony.
Once I arrived home, bubbling with excitement, I pestered my mother with endless pleas to let me attend weekly orchestra classes at school. The allure of the violin had me firmly under its spell, and I couldn't resist its magnetic charm.
Then one magical afternoon, my mother called me with a mischievous glint in her eye and whispered about a secret surprise. My anticipation soared like a balloon ready to take flight. As she reached behind the couch, she unveiled a dusty, worn-down case, barely holding together. With a hint of ceremony, I opened it to reveal the most charming sight - an old, slightly worn-down violin, as if it had its own tale to tell. As I cradled this whimsical instrument, I knew it held the key to a fantastical journey.
Since that enchanting day, music has been the magical thread weaving through the tapestry of my life. With each bowing and plucking of the violin, my heart sways like a leaf in the breeze. The violin opened doors to other delightful instruments like the piano and guitar, and it even coaxed my voice into singing along in the magical symphony.
Playing this treasured family heirloom fills me with a sense of wonder and pride, as I become the first-ever female in my family to carry forward the tradition of violin playing. It has not only gifted me the joy of music but has also sprinkled my personality with a sprinkle of pixie dust, making me a fun-loving, whimsical soul, delighting in expressing myself through the beguiling notes of the violin. As my bow meets the strings, I can't help but imagine the violin's mischievous grin, knowing it has found a kindred spirit in me - a lover of music, adventure, and all things whimsical.
Now let's see how the essay evolves based upon an additional prompt in AI ChatGPT.
User Prompt: make it a more dramatic, enthralling story
ChatGPT Essay Writer Response:
In the heart of a raging inferno, the barn burned with scorching intensity, flames leaping and crackling like malevolent spirits hungry for destruction. Within its walls lay a cache of hidden treasures, each a testament to a bygone era. Among the owners' desperate attempts to salvage what they could, they clung to a single precious item, a beautifully hand-crafted violin made from the darkest, most alluring wood. This violin had been a revered heirloom, passed down through countless generations, each leaving their indelible mark upon its surface. Little did they know that this instrument's tale was far from over, and an extraordinary journey was about to unfold.
Music had always woven its mysterious spell in my life, but nothing compared to the haunting allure of the violin. From the moment its haunting melody had enchanted me during a fifth-grade assembly, I was bewitched. The resonant sound, like a siren's call, tugged at my soul, and I felt a deep yearning to wield that mesmerizing power for myself. I longed to create symphonies that would echo through the ages and stir hearts with their dramatic crescendos.
After relentless pleas, my mother finally relented, and I was granted access to the enigmatic world of weekly orchestra classes. But it wasn't until a fateful afternoon that destiny unveiled its true magic. My mother, her eyes twinkling with a secret, beckoned me closer. With a flourish, she revealed a dusty, timeworn case, its lock hanging on by a thread. As I lifted the lid, I gasped as if discovering a long-lost relic. There it lay, the ethereal violin, as if waiting for my touch all these years. It whispered promises of unparalleled heights and haunting depths, igniting a fire within me that matched the one still raging in the barn.
From that transformative day, my life was a symphony in motion. The violin became an extension of myself, and together, we wove tales of love, heartbreak, and triumph through its strings. The music took on a life of its own, as if each note held a piece of my soul, soaring to the heavens and plunging into the abyss with equal intensity.
Through the violin, I unlocked my creativity, venturing into uncharted territories, experimenting with sounds and harmonies that seemed to defy the laws of reality. Its haunting cries echoed through moonlit nights, and its passionate serenades reverberated through the deepest valleys. With every stroke of the bow, I channeled the essence of my ancestors, feeling their presence beside me, guiding me in this magical odyssey.
Yet, amidst the triumphs, there were moments of bitter struggle. The violin demanded sacrifice, pushing me to the edge of my capabilities. But every challenge was a chance to grow, to delve deeper into the depths of my soul and find new facets of my artistry.
With each passing day, I felt the weight of my heritage upon my shoulders. As the first female in my family to carry forward the tradition of violin playing, I was driven to prove myself, to honor those who came before me. The violin became a bridge between generations, connecting me to a lineage of maestros whose essence pulsed within me.
And so, with fire in my heart and the violin in my hands, I continue to forge my path. The journey is a symphony of life, each note a stepping stone toward greatness. In the embers of that barn fire, my destiny was ignited, and I vowed to make my mark on the world, leaving a resounding echo that will linger long after the final note fades into the night.
Can ChatGPT be used to edit and critique essays? Yes, that is a good use of it. In this case, AI ChatGPT kept to the same story and did not hallucinate and stray too far from the writer's story.
I think the best use would be for the human essay writer to take the input from ChatGPT, and go back and fine tune the essay in a way that uniquely expresses their own personal experience and makes it their best personal statement essay.For more college essay examples, see our page with links to many more college admission essay examples and Scholarship Essay Examples.